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[0:00] words I think. Can everybody hear me okay? Yes? I don't know, I'm telling you, I don't know. So, first of all I'd like to thank everybody that was remembering us when we were in Nepal.

[0:13] We had a really good trip and it was good to know that we were being remembered by everybody. And I thought I'll just kind of start with a wee Nepal story to set the scene and relax me.

[0:26] So, we were on a six day trek and on day four my legs were pretty sore and I was kind of thinking, oh, I can't, I'm not going to make it to Annapurna base camp.

[0:39] But I was kind of taking each day, so each day that I was reaching somewhere I thought, well, this is good. By day four, some of you that know me kind of know that once I make my mind up about something, I usually stick to it. So, on day four I said to Kirsty as we were walking along, I said, oh, I said, I think once we reach Machu Kushi base camp I'm just going to stop.

[1:05] I'm not going any further. There was only two hours to go off the walk, but I had kind of thought, I'll just stay there and wait and everybody else can go on. And she was like, oh, well, you know, don't say that, you know, just yet have a kind of carry on and get to the first base camp.

[1:24] So, we got to the first base camp and I was like, no, I'm just going to stay because I was determined as well that we were going to get back down in two days and not have to kind of wait three days.

[1:34] So, I thought if I just stay and not go on. Anyway, we had something to eat and I was kind of thinking, well, I wasn't wanting to go on really for my own selfish reasons kind of thing.

[1:48] It was because I was thinking that, you know, I was kind of keeping everybody back and different things like that. And then I thought, well, they've kind of waited this long for me and said, you know, have a snack and see how you're feeling.

[2:01] So, I thought, well, I'll just carry on. So, I did. And a bit like my testimony, that last bit of the walk was actually the easiest bit of the walk.

[2:17] And I was going to not do it because I thought I would just stay where I was. And that was a bit like my journey to faith. I'm sure kind of accepting Jesus and trusting him was easy for me.

[2:31] But it probably took about 10 years to go from having accepted Jesus to going and sitting at his table.

[2:42] So, that's anyway, I did make it to ABC and here we are. So, I suppose, I kind of, you know, grew up always going to church.

[2:59] I'll just kind of start from a young day. You know, I always went to Sunday school, I always went to church. And then I went off to Glasgow. And I think the first kind of year in Glasgow, I was probably doing what everybody does.

[3:11] Kind of, you went out and different things like that. But after about a year, I kind of thought I wasn't really particularly enjoying, you know, going out or anything. So, I kind of decided then I wasn't going to be going out.

[3:23] But then I should have, I was going to church, but I was kind of on the outskirts of church. I wasn't kind of, you know, befriending people as such. I would say hello to them, but then I would, you know, leave as soon as the service was over.

[3:36] So, I would say to everybody that's going away, you know, once you do go away, you know, stick with, you know, make friends with people in church. And things like that. You know, that's something that I think, you know, I should have done, but I didn't do.

[3:50] Anyway, then I came back, I came back home. And I used to go to UIG with the youth fellowship. And, you know, I was always kind of involved in, you know, different things kind of with church and that.

[4:03] And I was, you know, really privileged because we were, you know, brought up going to church. You know, God's word was available to us and, you know, we were always under the preaching of God's word. And I suppose with these privileges, you know, there comes a responsibility on us that we have to, you know, decide what we're going to kind of do.

[4:24] And I think I was probably legalistic for too long. I was kind of thinking, I didn't understand Greece. And I kind of had this big long list of things that I thought I had to do before I would be able to sit at the Lord's table.

[4:44] So, every day I would, I mean, I didn't have a list written down, but it was just something I would do. And I would think, oh, I shouldn't be doing this.

[4:55] So, the list just went on and on and on. And I kind of just didn't realize that, you know, there is nothing that we can do that will make Jesus love us more or less.

[5:08] So, at that point, I would have been, Mr McKeever was a minister. And, you know, he was always very, very encouraging. And he would always, every communion, he would be saying to me, you know, what are you going to do this communion?

[5:23] And I would be, I remember one time he asked, he said, he always used to come to have his house on a Thursday. So, I used to dread the Thursday afternoon that Mr McKeever would be coming in.

[5:35] And we came in this Thursday and he said, now, what are you going to do this communion? And I felt, I've never forgotten it because it was such an awful thing to see it. I kind of said to him, nothing. And then I kind of went home and I was thinking, you know, I said nothing.

[5:50] And anyway, I didn't do anything, you know. And I would, I think between probably 2004 and 2006, that kind of two-year spell, I would see, you know, loads of people going forward and I would think, oh, it's so easy for them.

[6:06] But, you know, it's not any easier for them. But just where I was at, I kind of thought it looked easy to them. But, you know, it wouldn't have been any easier for them than it was for myself. Anyway, he would still, he would ask, and what are you doing?

[6:18] And some nights, I can remember one Friday evening, trying to hide behind the pillar so that he wouldn't see me in church. And I dropped my handbook, you know, and made a clatter, which doesn't at all sound like me, does it?

[6:32] Anyway, you know, and I was thinking that even that night in church, you know, we can hide from each other and we can hide from different things. But, you know, ultimately, you know, we're hiding from God and we can't hide, you know, from him.

[6:44] And so anyway, he kind of kept on for a wee while. But then he stopped asking me, kind of said to me one day, well, he said, we'll just leave it between you and the Lord.

[6:57] And that was even worse than him, like, asking me what was I going to do? Because then I was, oh. So he didn't, he just said, we'll just, I'll just leave it between you and the Lord. So that was kind of what he did.

[7:08] And he didn't really ask me anymore. So I was just kind of muddling, muddling along. And, you know, some people have a struggle because they think, you know, how are their friends going to be and how is this person going to be and how is that person going to be?

[7:25] But that, you know, none of that bothered me at all because I was, you know, quite comfortable in church and comfortable with, you know, most of my friends were, you know, Christians.

[7:36] And that was kind of the circle that I was happiest. But I was kind of trusting in myself. And I suppose it was my own pride that was at the root of it because I was kind of thinking that, you know, what Jesus had done wasn't enough, you know, for me.

[7:56] And then I think it was in 2006 probably, I think in the March, I was going to church on the Friday night.

[8:10] And, I mean, nothing, nothing happened. But I just kind of thought, well, I just felt myself that I had reached a crossroads of, you know, was I just going to go on forever like I was? Or was I going to, you know, just take the step?

[8:26] And I used to hear, you know, I would hear sermons that people would preach and they would say, when you're nearly saved, it's much harder to be saved. Those that are nearly saved, it's harder for them to be saved.

[8:38] And so I'd have that going around in my head and I'd be thinking, oh, you know, that's me. And then at the communion time, when you read from 1 Corinthians, whatever chapter, you know that is about eating and drinking in an unworthy manner.

[8:56] And I used to kind of worry that, you know, that would be me. But I didn't understand the background, you know, to the chapter. And, you know, it wasn't, it was more, I can't remember what exactly it was to do with, but I was kind of not interpreting it the right way, you know, anyway.

[9:13] So these wee things would always kind of niggle at me. Anyway, that Friday night, I said to my mum, oh, I said, I think tonight I'll go forward.

[9:28] So nothing kind of eventful happened. So I just did what I said I was going to do that Friday evening. And I think it was the same weekend as Rona McKellar went forward and Don John from Uruga.

[9:45] So there was the three of us. And, but then I still, although I had done, gone forward, I still kind of, you know, lacked assurance. And I was still thinking, oh, you know, what if I do this?

[9:58] What if I do that? You know, and I do all these things every day that I was, you know, worrying a bit. But I, on the Sunday morning, I was still thinking, oh, you know, what if I, you know, let God down?

[10:13] I mean, we do, we let God down every day. But I was reading my daily reading and it was from John 15, verse 16, where it says, you know, I did not choose, I did not choose, no, you did not choose me.

[10:28] I did have a Bible and I've lost it, so I can't read it out. It'll be somewhere. But actually, I think I've got Duncan's Bible, I'll read it out from here. I guess it was John, John 15 and, um, verse 16, which is, um, you did not choose, you did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last.

[11:04] And I think it's just our human nature that we kind of make everything about us when it's not actually, you know, about us. And, um, so when I read that, um, that was, um, an encouragement for me.

[11:20] And I think as well, um, you know, we kind of think that we're going to be blessed, but often until we actually take a step of obedience, we're not blessed.

[11:30] But, you know, when we are obedient, blessings follow, um, that obedience. And then I'll end with a wee story that I had read.

[11:40] I think it was a few years ago. I saw it in a magazine that was, um, in Harris House. And it was, uh, uh, a story about, uh, I think a father and son.

[11:54] And the father was, uh, he collected, um, pieces of, of artwork. And, um, his son went off to sea or, I don't know, he went away somewhere anyway.

[12:05] And he, he was killed when he was away. I see, something happened. He had an accident or something. And, um, a colleague that had been working with him came, came to his father's house with a painting of the, of his son that had died.

[12:23] And he, um, you know, he said, you know, that he was sorry about his son. And he said, you know, I quite like, you know, painting as a hobby. And I've painted this picture, um, of your, of your son.

[12:35] And he, um, the father took, you know, the painting and he hung it up in his house. And then in time, the father died, you know, as well. But he had this massive art collection that people, you know, were really wanting and willing to pay a lot of money for.

[12:51] So there was an auction. And, um, the first picture on the auction was the picture of the son. And, um, the auctioneer, you know, kind of said, who's going to, you know, give the first bid, who's going to, you know, offer this for this picture.

[13:07] And nobody was wanting to offer, you know, anything for it because they were wanting the, you know, the expensive pieces of, um, artwork. And, um, then the gardener, I think, who worked in the, in the gardens of the father's house, um, said, you know, that he would pay a small amount of money, you know, for the, for the painting.

[13:34] And, um, so he bought the painting. And then when he bought the painting, the auctioneer said, um, you know, that's it now. The auction, um, is over because whoever, whoever buys the son has everything kind of thing.

[13:48] So, and that's a picture of how it is, you know, with, um, Jesus. You know, once you kind of trust him as your saviour, you have, um, everything.

[13:59] And just to finish with my, um, favourite, well, one of my favourite verses. I've got quite a few favourite verses. So this is, um, one of them. And it is, um, from, um, Micah chapter 6 and it's verse 8.

[14:21] And it says, he has showed you, O man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

[14:33]  So, that's it. Thank you.